The Journey Begins

Let me be honest right from the start … I am a Martha! In the story of Mary & Martha (Luke 10) when Jesus scolds Martha for being so busy and missing the opportunity to sit at His feet, my thoughts immediately jump to the defense of Martha. I totally get the girl! She wanted something to be marvelous for her Jesus, and she had no problem checking off those boxes and getting things done. Yet, she missed the most important thing in doing so.

I spend much of my day marking off my “to do’s” that are good-hearted things – things that can bring God glory. But if I examine my heart, I can often find that those things are done with my own intentions in mind, instead of His.

I can be way more concerned with others opinions of myself than God’s opinion of me. I hate to even admit that, but I promise to be real & raw with you.

After coming to this realization, I had to ask myself why I wasn’t seeking out God’s opinion first, and I cringed when I came to know my “why.”

After walking with Jesus for over 30 years, my worth was still wrapped up so tightly in others opinions of me. When I knew God was calling me to do something, my first thought was always, “What will others think of me?”

I knew & know that God loves me, like with a crazy-passionate love. But, I wasn’t living like that was enough – like a drug – I craved the acceptance and worth the world gave.

Then the gentle whisper said, “Nikki, am I not enough?” O’ how my heart sank.

“Yes, God. You are more than enough!”

“If the world turned it’s back on you, would I truly be enough for you?”

(My brain screams, “Please let that never happen!”) But my soul yells louder, “You are my everything. My identity is wrapped up in you!”

“Then come, sit at my feet. I want to give you a worth that is bigger than you ever dreamed of. One that is not dependent on your tasked accomplished, the views of others around you, or the good that you are doing. I want to give you a worth that will drive the purpose I have for you.”

My heart sings with this excitement; while my brain still yearns to have both the worth of Christ and the acceptance of all of those around me. Yet, I’m desperate to not miss finding my worth in Jesus by those 18 inches that separate my heart from my brain.

This is my journey as God is guiding me on truly discovering my worth in Him. If you find yourself in my shoes, I pray that God speaks to you as He is speaking to me .

I know I am worthy of Him – I’m ready to start living it! Today, I choose to sit at His feet and hear His words as he speaks over me!